PSA on the rise again

So as part of the prep for my upcoming Radium 223 injections I had to have a series of blood tests. One test was to check my current PSA level ahead of treatment starting and, unfortunately, my PSA has jumped from 10.1 to 20.1 over the past 4 weeks – this is not great news.

I had a pretty bleak day when I found out. It always seems that every time I get myself into a position where I’m not constantly fretting about my illness then something happens that says “Hi there! This is your cancer calling. Just wanted to keep you from enjoying yourself and remind you that I’m still here and doing my best to spread further.”

I also found out that the other blood tests were to check if I’m actually suitable for the course of Radium 223 injections. Apparently some people just can’t have them so on top of the PSA rise, I’m now fretting whether I fall into this category. Super!

It’s on days like these that I want to throw something at the TV when those adverts come on showing people getting better after their encounter with cancer, and doing things like clubbing, swimming, running and all with big, smug smiles on their faces. I often wonder how many of these people are just actors and how many have actually dealt with the illness in person. I know deep down I don’t wish them or anyone else bad, but for me these cheesy ads suck big time.

I guess part of my problem in dealing with the ups and downs of living with cancer is that I’m a structured and logical person who likes instructions, rules, processes, etc. and now having to deal with this big thing in my life which doesn’t have a manual and which I can’t just ignore has been a struggle. I know from talking with people at the local hospice that everyone who has cancer has to find a way of dealing with it that works for them, and that there definitely isn’t a “one size fits all” approach, so I just have to keep chugging along and keep my fingers crossed that I can have the Radium 223 injections, that they are effective in dealing with the tumours in my bones, and that my PSA returns to a more acceptable level. Watch this space.

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